Thank God I'm Gay
by Green Rainboots
Summary: Gaara suddenly becomes very happy that he likes one boy over all the women in the world. Mentioned Neji/Gaara, but it's Kankuro and Gaara talking.


_A little story with Gaara and Kankuro. Main (and only) pairing is Neji/Gaara, but it's only mentioned._

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Had Gaara not been as fond of his head as he was, he would have slammed it on the table. Instead, he resorted to laying his head down on the wood hard enough to make a thud, but not hard enough to really hurt. The door to his office was opened, but he didn't bother to look up. He knew it was either Kankuro or Temari anyway. They were the only ones who entered his office without knocking first.

"What's with you?" a male voice asked, confirming that it was Kankuro, and the door was closed again. Gaara could hear he was frowning. He groaned, but didn't lift his head. "Do I even want to know?"

The Kazekage sat up in his chair and rested his chin in his palm.

"Thank god I'm gay" he said.

Kankuro looked like the definition of surprised. His eyes were wide, his eyebrows were practically gone under his hat, and his mouth was hanging open. Gaara cocked his head to the side in question.

"I… didn't know you called yourself gay" Kankuro said slowly.

"I'm in love with a guy. Doesn't that make me gay?" Gaara asked.

"Well, that depends on whether you're attracted to other guys or girls" Kankuro said and shook his head slightly to get rid of the look of surprise that was lingering on his face. Gaara didn't think it helped much.

Kankuro's words made a blush dust over Gaara' cheeks, and the puppeteer found it highly amusing, and felt like laughing. However, he liked when he was not hurt, dead, or in multiple pieces, so he suppressed his laugh.

"I'm attracted to Neji and no one else" Gaara mumbled, eyes firmly fixed on his desk.

"I think that makes you gay, but I'm not sure" Kankuro said, and then changed the subject. "So why are you thankful that you're gay?"

Gaara groaned again and ran a hand over his face.

"A kunoichi just spent the last twenty minutes flirting with me" he said. "Very heavily and very openly"

This time, Kankuro did let out a chuckle, and Gaara glared evilly at him.

"Okay, um… what did you do?" Kankuro asked.

"I ignored it" Gaara said in a duh-tone. "What else was I supposed to do, jump up and shout "Stop it, I have a boyfriend"?"

"Probably not, no" Kankuro said.

"Kankuro, how do you handle women when they behave like that?" Gaara asked.

"Me? I don't know. I haven't really tried it" Kankuro replied. "Every time someone's flirted with me, I've just flirted back, because I haven't been in a relationship like the one you're in. Both because I'm not gay, and because I haven't had a serious relationship in a very long time. But I think you handled it very nicely"

"So I just continue to ignore her flirting if she does it again?" Gaara asked.

"If she does it once or twice more, then yes, just continue to ignore it" Kankuro said. "But if she goes on for a longer period of time, I'd tell her to stop if I were you. Now whether you do it subtly or bluntly, is entirely up to you. I'd also tell her to stop if she suddenly starts making passes at you"

"How would I tell her to stop subtly?" Gaara asked.

"You could start mentioning your boyfriend more, make her get that you're in love without actually telling her" Kankuro said, sounding like a teacher at the academy, telling the students how to act in a dangerous situation. Gaara wasn't sure that one of his ninjas flirting with him was a dangerous situation, but it sure was an uncomfortable one. "Or you could shout at her"

"Do women act like that a lot?" Gaara asked.

"Some do, others don't" Kankuro replied. "It's different from woman to woman"

"How come half the guys in the world haven't turned gay to get rid of women like that?" Gaara asked, but didn't expect Kankuro to answer. And Kankuro didn't really answer, he just shrugged his shoulders with a smile on his face.

"Hey, Gaara?" Kankuro asked, his little brother hummed to signal him to go on. "How are you going to tell Neji?"

Gaara's eyes widened. He hadn't even thought of that.

"Oh shit" he cursed. "I don't know"

"Are you going to tell him?" Kankuro asked.

"I probably should" Gaara said, and then looked at his brother. "Right?"

"Yes, it'd be best if you were honest, because that's just how relationships work" Kankuro replied.

"How do I tell him without making him stomp off to kill the girl?" Gaara asked.

"Relax, I'm sure Neji will take it just fine" Kankuro said. "He's not that violent, and if you just make sure to tell him that you ignored and didn't like it, then I'm sure he'll just think it's funny"

"But what if he doesn't?" Gaara asked nervously.

"Gaara" Kankuro said in a serious tone. "Relax. Neji's a good guy. He might think a little differently of it if it had been a guy, but it was a girl. I think he'll just think it was funny"

Gaara took a deep breath and ran both his hands through his hair.

"Why did that girl even start flirting with me?" he asked, and he sounded more frustrated than he was.

"How should I know?" Kankuro said.

"She should know that I'm in a relationship, because it's not like I'm hiding it" Gaara said.

"No, you certainly are not" Kankuro smirked, and the smirk widened when a new blush appeared on his little brother's cheeks.

"Maybe I should flaunt it more in public" Gaara pondered.

"How? One, you don't have a lot of free time with Neji here in the village, two, I think that you two walking hand in hand whenever you do go out together is enough of a signal" Kankuro said. "And I still can't get the image of you and Neji snogging by the gates out of my mind, though that's mostly because the guards looked extremely hilarious"

The blush deepened and spread slightly, and Kankuro coughed behind his hand to hide his laughter.

"I hadn't seen him in a really long time" Gaara defended.

"I know, and I don't mind. You two can make out as much as you want if you ask me" Kankuro said. "Which is very lucky for you two, because as far as I remember, that make-out session by the gates wasn't the only make-out session that day"

Gaara picked up his pen and threw it after Kankuro, who ducked. When the latter straightened up again, he had a smirk on his lips, and Gaara glared at him. If looks could kill, Kankuro would have been dead. But apparently, Kankuro didn't mind, and the smirk stayed on his lips.

"Could you give me my pen back?" Gaara asked and dropped the glare. Kankuro wordlessly picked up the pen and put it back on Gaara's desk. Gaara didn't pick it up. Instead, he rested his head in his elbow, face down on the table and sighed deeply.

"What now?" Kankuro asked with a frown, because Gaara had never reacted like that to his teasing, and he highly doubted that putting his pen on his desk, after Gaara's own request, would upset him.

"Stupid you" Gaara said accusingly, but it was muffled because his face was hidden. Kankuro felt very confused at that statement. "Now I miss Neji!"

Kankuro smiled.

"Aw, don't worry. You'll see him again soon" Kankuro said, patting Gaara's red hair.

"Don't pet me, it makes me feel ridiculous" Gaara said, but did nothing to make Kankuro stop, so Kankuro just continued petting Gaara. "And I really miss Neji!"

"I know, brother" Kankuro said.

The door to the office was opened, and Kankuro took a step away from Gaara, whose face remained on the table. The puppeteer turned around to see who had entered, and saw Temari standing in the doorway with a confused look on her face.

"What's up with you, Gaara?" Temari asked, closing the door. Gaara just grumbled.

"He misses Neji" Kankuro explained.

"Oh. But don't you always miss Neji?" Temari asked.

"Now it's worse, because Kankuro talked about him!" Gaara said, face still hidden.

"Actually, I just talked a little bit about them making out" Kankuro said.

"And why did you do that?" Temari asked.

"It's a bit of a story" Kankuro said. "If you make tea, I'll tell you about it"

"Okay" Temari said. Kankuro patted Gaara on the head one last time before walking out of the office with Temari, leaving the Kazekage to miss his boyfriend on his own.

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**The grand end!**


End file.
